The Rocky party last night at Jon’s was great, and I really enjoyed myself. At the same time, it’s seemed recently that we need something new at parties. I can’t tell if it’s just me, but I’m going to explore it in words here and see if it resonates.

I love Rocky. I love the people there, I love the sexuality, I love the cute social intricacies, and I love the subversive creativity of our endeavor. And I love Rocky after-parties in all of their incarnations– and there have been many different kinds since I joined. There are laid-back socializing parties; drinking-and-orgy parties, when someone has an agenda; and truth and dare parties, when people want more but aren’t sure what. And that’s just the large group dynamics– often the best parts of parties happen between two or three people– but right now I’m interested in the group mode.

In the last month or two, we hit on a variation of the socializing party that’s all about revealing ourselves through references. At first it was jokes: we had two parties consisting almost entirely of them. Now it’s internet fads, communal geek references, and obsessions from our pasts. Bit-by-bit, people are letting each other into their private worlds by opening up the boxes in their personal attics, and seeing if anyone else has similar cruft.

At last that’s my analysis. At the party last night, I found spots in between socializing circles so I could watch (I like to watch) and stick my thumb into several pies, so I can easily imagine that someone more directly involved would have a different experience.

And I might be staying remote because I’m not as interested in it. For me, that kind of party was fascinating at first, but it’s gotten to be “the same”. Maybe if I were to involve myself more, I’d get more into it, but I wonder: Are we still on this kick because it’s working for most people, or because we don’t know what else to do?

Recently, we’ve all seemed really comfortable with each other, and pretty free sexual tensions, so we should be able to trust each other, but I don’t think people are talking about things they really care about. It seems like everyone’s wearing their ego-armor, and we’re working around it, but I don’t think we need it, and if we all pull together, we might be able to open each other up in new ways.