Every Wednesday I walk away from Rocky preshow meeting with a silly smile on my face.

Saturday, I did Monologue (RHPS virgin hazing)! I was dizzyingly nervous the day before, but as it got closer and closer to the time, I just got less nervous. And then I was there, and my talking-to-crowds-auto-pilot took over. I had fun and I think it was good. I was told that I need to be louder; if anyone else has comments on things to improve next time, I’d love to hear them.

The after-party was at my place. It felt disconnected, like the groupings of people never found their groove. And I was in an odd mood; in my mind, I kept seeing people fall into their weaknesses instead of becoming their strengths. It was fun and all, but it seemed to reflect a shallowness of recent parties at a time when deep connections are blossoming at Rocky. Does anyone else feel this?

I know some people would just avoid parties for this, but I’m a creature of community, and it makes me want to fix things. Maybe we need new party games? The power of the party game is to drive us to give up our pretenses, manifest our desires, and reveal ourselves to each other.

Also that night, I opened my disposable-party-stuff cabinet… and a twig nest and a very surprised black bird started falling out. So I quickly shut it and pretended nothing happened. I was worried that I might have hurt the bird, but I’ve since heard lots of activity up there. This morning, I was rummaged in the cabinet underneath, and this little “Hey, I’m trying to sleep here!” peep answered me.

Yesterday, when a friend was hanging out in my room while I was away, a black cat jumped through the window, gave her a frightened look, and hopped back out. And I have a small infestation of moth-like locusts, and I can’t find their breeding grounds. My apartment is being taken over by wildlife omens.